glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
