I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Randomize
