I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
