I got chris browned last night
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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