HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
