Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
