dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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