Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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