Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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