I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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