Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
