When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
This is my gift to your gina
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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