would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
