in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Randomize
