What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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