omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Randomize