I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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