I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
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