The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
