just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize
