2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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