did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
