Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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