remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
