so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
