I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
