Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Randomize
