Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Randomize
