HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
