You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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