Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
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