So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Randomize
