Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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