Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
