I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
