we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
