I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
