My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
