You work out of a Hotel?
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
