my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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