I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Randomize
