Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
