yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
