Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
