I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
