Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
