GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
