If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
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