my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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