You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
